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Well, it’s been a while.  When I qualified as a nutritional therapist I had such hope for the future.  Life certainly throws many curveballs around, and it’s taken me a good long time to come to terms with some of them, because I find I am way off the track I had in mind.  In that time, I have continued to build my knowledge, and help people find their way.  But during that process I have lost my own.  Does this make me a better or worse therapist I wonder?  I have little difficulty following my own advice when it comes to choosing healthy foods.  What I’ve struggled with is avoiding the pitfalls that are so prevalent in the world we live in.  Alcohol is a big one.  I simply love wine and the effect it has on me.  Sugar.  I’ve always been a sugar monster.  I’ve struggled with my weight since I was a teenager, and although I will still maintain that I ‘don’t do diets’, I am probably your typical ‘yoyo dieter’ in that my weight has gone up and down my entire adult life.  Currently I am the heaviest I have ever been.  It’s becoming harder and harder to hold my head up when I see clients.  I know if they follow my advice they will get results.  But I wouldn’t blame them for eyeing me up and wondering if I know what I’m talking about sometimes.

Not only have I let my bad habits get the better of me, but I have allowed the negative feelings I harbour towards myself to stifle my creativity and confidence.  I love to write.  To share my knowledge and help people take steps towards a healthier life.  In the last year I have written perhaps 3 articles and 2 blog posts.  This is compared to the year before where I was writing at least weekly, and often daily.  It is something I need to change.  This has as much to do with healthy living as cutting out alcohol and sugar from my diet if I want to find myself again.  Ignoring creativity is a recipe for internal stress, and continual stress is about as damaging as it gets.

I found I became overwhelmed with the uphill struggle of getting my own practice up and running.  I have clients trickling in, but I wanted success immediately and was impatient with building it up slowly.  I trained as a nutritional therapist, but found I had to be a marketing expert, a website builder and an accountant all at the same time, roles I was unfamiliar with.  Now I find I need to take a step back from it all and decide how I want to move forward.  Not just in my practice, but in my life.  Do I want to be fat and fifty, or do I want to glow with health and have bundles of energy?  If it’s the second one then I need to tackle the bad eating and drinking habits I have let slip into my daily life.  Do I want to be true to myself or let my demons continue to stifle creative outlet?  To be true to myself I need to write, and often.  Do I want to continue to limp along in my practice, expending most of my energy on the non-nutrition job that pays the mortgage, or do I want to build it up and gain reputation for being good at what I do?  To build it up I need to come out of my comfort zone and take some risks, whether they be financial or personal.  Playing it safe hasn’t helped my self esteem, so putting myself out there can’t make it worse can it?  I have a lot of work ahead of me, but the benefit of hitting rock bottom is that the only way is up.